humans-of-seoul:

“군대에 갔을 때 사회에서 있었던 행복했던 순간을 되새김질하면서 ‘그때로 돌아가면 어떨까’란 생각을 많이 했었어요. 아쉬웠던 일들도 떠올랐고요. ‘그때 내가 빼지 말고 그 여자애한테 조금 더 적극적으로 할걸’ ‘그 선배가 하자고 했던 걸 한번 해봤으면 어땠을까’하는 생각들… 지금도 그런 아쉬움은 어쩔 수 없긴 해요. 그런데 언젠가 몇 년이 지나면 또 ‘그때 혜화역에 앉아있을 때 참 좋았는데’라고 지금을 회상할 거예요. ‘그때 내가 어떤 선택을 했더라면’하고 분명 후회를 할 거란 말이에요. 지금 앉아있는 이 순간을 조금 더 즐기고 지금 할 수 있는 것들을 생각하려고 해요. 어쨌든 과거를 바꾸지 않아야 지금의 제 모습이 되는 거잖아요.”

“While I was in the army, I’d mull over the happy moments I had back in ‘society’ and wonder what it would be like to go back to that. Some regretful things came to mind, too. Thoughts like, ‘If only I had been a bit more upfront with that girl instead of being shy,’ or, ‘If only I had gone to try new things when I was invited.’ I know those regrets are inevitable, even now. But I also know that in a few years, I’ll reminisce on this instant, thinking about good times I had while sitting at Hyehwa Station. What I mean is that I’ll definitely always have regrets and wonder ‘what would have happened had I picked differently.’ I’ve decided to focus on what I can do to enjoy this moment, sitting here, even more. After all, the unchangeable past should be left alone if I’m going to be the me that I am right now.”